Day 4

Day 4

Its 12:25 on an early Wednesday morning.

Dreams regarding travelling have seemed to come alive; someone somewhere has breathed a heart beat into my newly found love. If all goes well I will leave on Monday morning for 5 days to go to a place called Pushkar in Rajasthan.  The next week will be a time of rejuvenating for my soul, my lungs will not feel crushed and squeezed in this city air any more. I will breathe freely and freedom will run through my veins again. I long to feel the out of beat rhythm of the train that is taking me closer and closer to new experiences that I have spent my time and money on. My well earned holiday awaits my embrace. And I await the embrace of the sun beating down on my white skin. I want to be apart of the crowd that nobody knows, I want to blend into my surroundings and not be seen by anybody I know, not to be disturbed by and old friend or acquaintance. I want to feel my freedom under my wings, I want to fly in the thick of my built up frustration and slice the air like volcanic fire would go through ice.

Asia is my home, I could not picture my self anywhere else in the world, my body is not made for easy living. I am meant to have trouble with my life, so I can pick myself up and learn lessons for the future. The west calls out for people who need a break. I need a break, but a break from my city. I need to live in awful surroundings so that an awful surrounding for the average person will be a luxury for me. Humble, I need to be humble and what I do in these years of my life will determine what kind of person I will be for the rest of my life.  I want to be a colourful person. The type of person you meet and think, “He is weird, but a beautiful weird” I want to be a beautiful weird, so I can show the world that being different is a good thing and normal is just plain boring. I want to own a different vocabulary, I want to dress different, I want to act different, but not just to be different because that’s what everyone different is doing. I want to be different because I was structured that way, which I know I am.  I want every part of my body to be kissed by uniqueness.  I want every bone in my body to be loved by a foreign thought. I want to have an instruction manual to my body in a different language so I never become over familiar with myself. I want the colour of my blood to be see through and I want the immediate thought and judgment that kicks in as soon as I see somebody to be seen through and destroyed. Its 1:05 on an early Wednesday morning and my back longs to be rested.