Day 1

 Its 1:14 AM on an early Friday morning.

Plans of my future have been haunting me, haunting my dreams and haunting the way I live. I have never been a worrier but more a warrior but some unknown blade has seemed to have wounded me and I’m still trying to figure out who and what weapon has left me in my current state of mind. Everything is fuzzy, everything is shaded. My memory does not go past my last meal and my anxiety of the future has rushed ahead of me and left me in a confused state of mind. I want to do something new. I’m tired of getting the boring old right hook, I want an eye gouge, I want an upper cut, a shot to the ribs, I want to be paralyzed with dreams that come true.

I have left so many faces over different oceans and the wounds of goodbyes have come to haunt me.  Friends and family have been left behind in the waves that separate me from the rest of the world.

I want to learn new things, I want to set out on voyages and learn new languages, I want to set up tent in the middle of a desert with nobody within a 100 mile circumference, me and my guitar strumming my anxiety and worry away. Music is the only thing that can possibly contain what my heart is screaming out for, but my fingers cant keep up with how much my mind thinks. It’s a pity. If my trail of thought were turned into a symphony then it would be a big blast of confusion and the drum beat of my future would beat out of time.

I want no worry of the world to set a foot in my doorstep, but it seems some has creeped in. Just slightly and if what I’m feeling now is slightly then I would hate to find out what it is like to have the bastard come in the whole way.

Excuse the sudden subject changes, but I feel like its necessary to jot this down as I am thinking.